THIS IS THE FIRST CLUE

Do you have any idea what you just found? Eris, the Ancient Greek Goddess of Confusion led you here. She is finally returning to the world after a very long slumber. Eris has hidden more clues for you. Stay alert!

MISSION STATEMENT

Your Mission: make a note of the time. Then walk around for a while. In exactly five minutes, stop what you are doing and look around. Eris will show you something. Meditate on this thing, make a note of it each time you see it. It will lead to a startling personal revelation.

Need a clue? Keep your eyes peeled for the number 5, the number 23, the color yellow, a sudden noise, or something which is out of place.

Seriously, this isn’t just a thought experiment. You should actually do it. The results may SHOCK and CONFUSE you. Your BRAIN may CRAP ITS PANTS.

SANITY ISN’T THE SURVIVAL SKILL IT USED TO BE

Discordians are lunatic pranksters partying at the fringes of the 21st century. Every Discordian is a pope, capable of interpreting Eris’ will and using it as an excuse to do awesome things. Discordians treat absurdity, laughter, and playtime as holy sacrament. Those are the only things which can deliver us from Bureaucracy, the season of law and bullshit.

YOU ARE A POPE

Every man, woman, and child on this earth is already a Discordian Pope. You will be fully initiated into the Absurd Papacy as soon as you finish reading this sentence. There we go! Wasn’t that easy? You now have cool papal powers like exorcism, randomly speaking in tongues, and the ability to marry people to inanimate objects.

QUICK! DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO UNTO YOU

Most people suffer from the Curse of Greyface, a rather serious condition which can result in CRIPPLING BORINGNESS. Discordians have the cure: If enough of us make our immediate surroundings more cool, inviting, creative, and exciting, eventually the kickass places will overlap and we will all have escaped Bureaucracy together right before it explodes. Life is absurd, but with a little effort we could make it completely ridiculous.

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